When faced with the query, “What are you working on?" often I opt to answer, “Myself.” It’s not to be a smart ass either. Sometimes it’s because I don’t feel to explain a current project I’m working on but truthfully the life project I am working on really is me. So my answer stands. My life is a living art project. I am art, the artist, the viewer, critic and then some all rolled into one. My activities engaging the world as well as myself essentially is an ongoing artist process. 

What does working on one’s self mean? For many, it automatically assumes something therapy related. Dealing with one's issues, mental health or some other matter to fix. Some deficit to address. Treating a trauma lingering like some bored Shinigami in your room eating an apple while you suffer. For me on any given day it could be (as I cultivate a healthy and unique model for living) something simple as moisturizing my feet. Monitoring my feet. Building a more intimate relationship with my body. Perhaps even listening to what it’s telling me. If I swipe right and connect, let’s just say I don’t plan on having sex with my socks on. 

No one truly taught me how to take care of myself; holistically. But how could anyone ever? Life is a never-ending set of classes which multiply as we grow and expand and will never be complete. We’ll leave this earth only taking a minute fraction of life's courses. Not even a quark. Sit with that for a moment. 

We get to choose though what we prioritize outside of the basic and mandatory curriculum.

What type of student are you? How thorough are you examining, processing and integrating the required reading text? Are you an over or under achiever, a so-called gifted student or have you dropped out because you don’t think school really matters?

C. the Rich artist

As I look toward the future, weaning myself from Meta and crafting the most decentralized usage of the internet I think about how much online life has changed for me in nearly three decades of logging on. The world wide web’s exponential growth is remarkable to say the least and it often takes a conversation with a friend or two who’ve never left the more hands on less centralized aspects of it to remind me of how locked in to non mainstream usage of the net I engaged in the past. 

We’re living in an era where a decentralized internet is essential if we desire any type of collective control of information and connection to one another at this point. We’ve relinquished the majority of this power to corporations which ironically weren’t vested in the internet at its inception. Remember net neutrality? We seemingly all were talking about it, until we weren’t. People also think that VPN they started using after seeing an advertisement for it in public is actually doing something. Needless to say it is extremely challenging to get people onboard with changing any type of habit, especially those which matter the most and will fully affect their lives. 

I don’t have answers to all we should and can do but I know enough to reacclimate myself with the path I’ve always been on but of course tend to veer away from as time elapses. My usage of the internet should match my irl offline autonomy. We can’t Monday morning quarterback the revolution folks. We’ve gotta get in the game because if we don’t, we’re going to get what we’re given or have literally everything taken from us. 

I leave you with the video not as an answer or even a solution, but a start of the conversation you should be having with yourself as I am having with mine and others. 

Lastly, many of the solutions to our issues on this planet readily exist. You'd be surprised how many are being implemented. Action though is necessary for changes if you or I want to see any of it, whether it be for matters within our literal individual bodies or societal shit that affects the collective. 

You can go to https://freenet.org/ to try Freenet out yourself.

To learn more about FUTO and what they do, visit https://futo.tech/

What does a path to healing and or repair look like?

I was invited to contribute to a book on grief, something I discussed with the woman who’s putting together a compilation of essays, art, recipes and more - is how most of us do not have individual systems in our lives to assist us through many of the supremely challenging aspects of human life. Even if we are fortunate enough to have an amazing external human support system and find a perfect therapist, much of the essential work we need to do is a solo endeavor. As I’ve been saying for many years now, ‘selfwork matters’. 

My gradual recovery from what some deem one’s dark night of the soul has presented me with the opportunity to consider and design my personal models for addressing grief and recovery from the physical and mental toll of dredging up deep trauma, assessing then addressing the byproduct of unhealthy recurring patterns in my life. There’s so much to consider and overwhelming when pondering your existence as a whole, especially in the midst of healing with some wounds still fresh while others are close to being fully gone. I’m returning to a place of stillness and the equanimity which once was my norm. At times I felt it wasn’t possible. High-key frightening, but necessary at least for me in this life’s expedition. Contrast is a ‘mother’ you know what.

I’m leaning towards joy like a flower to sun. Being intentional about my day to day actions. Firing off new neurons reestablishing my connection to the abundant light within, which was quite dim while I investigated my shadows. Emerging from the depths and stepping back into the light my skin is regaining color. Life is brighter as the days progress. Clarity of thought after periods of brain fog is so invigorating. Liberating even, as my imaginary shackles fall to the ground, allowing me to move freely once again.

I took a walk today, people watched then stopped in a local record shop. First record I noticed upon entering, eyeing me from its section of a wooden bin it stood in, was Luther Vandross’ Never Too Much. Immediately after dropping the needle my energy shifted while listening. My body began to move. Cue nature’s drugs D&E (dopamine and endorphins.) It's easy to forget how simple it is to switch one’s mood. Needless to say for me, an integral part of the systems I’m activating incorporate music and movement. The great thing about building a system for yourself is you get to choose the modalities and cater them to your specific needs. You in a sense are crafting the magic of your life by realizing and exercising your autonomy. You don’t need permission to heal, grow and be self-actualized. It’s why the f*ck you're here. 

Build your systems if you have not already begun to engineer them. Modify the ones you have if they need to be tweaked and updated.

Be well. 

C. 

If this post resonates with you or you know someone who’d appreciate and find benefit in these words please share. 

I was yesterday years old when I learned the photographer Charles Moore was responsible for some of the most iconic photos of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and documented a portion of the movement for civil rights. I won't lament here on how in retrospect I was unaware of this individual and his contributions to essentially one of the United States' most profound shifts in paradigm. Images capturing historical human moments (whether favorable or not) matter immensely. So is the acknowledgement of those individuals who were catalysts for significant change. This short film is invaluable and should be shared for quite a few reasons, so today I’m sharing my most recent discovery (no Columbus) hoping you view it and find the value in it. Also that you consider for a moment how you ‘fight’ for yourself and the collective. My personal philosophy is not one of fighting, I tend to use the term advocate and I’m ‘for’ things/people/progress versus being against a laundry list of societal issues. This approach has not minimized my efforts nor negatively impacted movements I’ve engineered ‘for the people’ as a builder of community and leader for over a quarter century. My point in saying so is to show there is no one appropriate way to exist and affect change in this life if you so choose. It’s up to you to figure out what works best for you.

Sometimes I do a deep dive on the net and find so much 'content' I'm connected to going back nearly 25 years. Videos, music, photography and text. While Google's no longer a real search engine you can still find a decent amount of material I'm responsible for making, if you know what to search for online. 

When I lived in Flatbush on any given random late night you could find me somewhere post up mostly outside shooting a random not random music video, if I weren't in the house doing the same. This is a video I shot in the house on Brooklyn and Avenue D. The original version of the song (Messin' With My Molecules) appears on Konichiwa (K)ninja, an album I put together right before we left for Tokyo in 2010. This 'remixed' version over a then very popular actual Chicago drill track, long before the New York drill phase. 

Making videos as such was a basic exercise for me. I pop out in the wee hours, shoot a couple of takes, get some b-roll, then come back home edit it up in under an hour to upload to the internet first thing in the a.m. I did this shit all by myself. No crew. Sometimes no tripod. More than likely filmed with one or two of those digital Kodak handhelds leaned up against something. 

I look back at these things as a reminder of all of what I've made and have been making for a long time, using whatever technology I had at the moment. I dig deep enough I can show you videos I edited in Windows media player. I was shooting and making videos regularly with absolutely no budget while I watched many of my peers break the bank releasing video after video, only to post on YouTube and a small amount of views and no real return on their investment. 

All I can think about is the very large number of artists online everyday talking about how hard it is. For a person who's been creating as long as the tools were available, literally making content for a quarter century I've never complained about making shit. I'm so grateful I can, did and have. I'm not going to stop. An artist the other day responded to a post of mine and basically said some people don't make art because they truly enjoy making it. They make art because they want to be seen. And that makes sense as to why folks continually say they hate making content more often than not. And it's a general sentiment people can bond with and actually agree on. So instead of us connecting on our love for creating and sharing what we create, we bond on hate for capitalism and how capitalism forces us to make content. Also how content isn't an Art and a laundry list of other soul sucking commentary. 

Personally capitalism ain't forced me to do shit. I've never stopped loving making shit and sharing it from early internet when reach was attainable to the current state of Internet ran and oppressed by algorithms. 

That's all I got. Go and create something because you are inherently built to do so. Create because it is a healthy thing for a human being to do. Create before you think about sharing it and monetizing it. Create for creations sake. Create for yourself then you can think about the rest; later.